Killing the Cell Phone
by Kjinuyasha
Summary: Prequel to Killing the Laptop. A newly wedded Kagome becomes infuriated by her husband's obsession with work. Sess/Kag. PWP Limes! R&R Please no YIMS
1. Eff that phone!

**_A/N: It seems I'm finding every excuse not to do actual work these days. In my defense, technically the summer semester doesn't start until June. I mean I know Legal Jargon's next chapter should be outlined... and I should be doing research before the busy schedule and the work floods in... but I deserve a break! I published my research dammit! Okay... I'm done. Please enjoy. Review if you like._**

 ** _…...…..die cell phone….…die…..._**

 _Eff that Phone_

So I have a legitimate question. What's the average length of time for the honeymoon period? Any takers? Because I honestly thought that one week was the minimum and 2 months, though excessive was what the rich and famous took. Not to seem delusional, but my mate turned husband was a phenomenal catch, and while not the richest youkai on the planet... he had amassed a considerable amount of wealth. In my modesty I expected to have him to myself for at LEAST 2 weeks... but it seems I had been terribly mistaken.

It hadn't been _two_ HOURS after we left our reception with all of our family and friends before he had become preoccupied with that small piece of infuriating technology clutched 'passionately' in the palm of his hand. I could think of about ten places where his hand _ought_ to be and another 50 for where that cell phone _should_ be.

I suppose he realized the agitation reflecting on my face was attributed to his distraction; so he attempted a half assed apology, accompanied by the justification of his actions. This was my time dammit! We had just tied the knot, mixed our fucking sand in that retarded ass ceremony he insisted on putting in the program... lit each other's candles and every other silly marital ritual that people do... We hadn't missed one, and it caused the ceremony to go on for longer than I would have liked.

I would have given anything to just sneak off in a bathroom somewhere, have him lift my ridiculously expensive wedding gown and fuck me senselessly against the germ infested stall in the public restroom of the reception hall. But NOOOO... he insisted upon being a gentlemen and respecting our friends and family. 'Fuck them!' Okay, I didn't mean that... but GAH! He was such a kill sport sometimes. He should be glad he was sexy.

"I'm sorry Kagome, I just need to send out some emails notifying the company of my absence. Then I'm all yours okay my love?"

I sighed in indignation before plopping myself against the leather seat of the limousine. "Yea, whatever." I spoke as I rolled my eyes and grabbed the bottle of champagne sitting to my left. Foregoing a glass, I took a big swig from the bottle hoping the bubbly alcoholic beverage would be enough to soothe my ever rising ire.

It didn't do much. I was my own worst enemy when it came to overthinking and rambling and the alcohol did nothing to alleviate me of that poor personality trait. It was my wedding! My day! My husband! My DICK! Yet there he was sitting across from me penis clothed and covered with entirely way too much material and his mind two planets away... trapped in that virtual web of obligatory communication.

Taking another swig of the overpriced beverage I looked out the window and observed the beaming lights of the lamp posts that seemed to flicker in and out as we passed them by. My eyebrows furrowed and I was certain if I remained as sexually frustrated as I was, a permanent crease would take residence between my sculpted brows. That damned cell phone! If I had my way, it would be at the bottom of a lake somewhere. Hell, if I really had my way I'd find a way to climb to the top of the Eifel tower and watch as the phone made impact and created a crater in the concrete below as it slipped from my fingertips.

The seed had been planted. The only thing that prevented it from taking root at that moment was the sudden proximity of the one man I couldn't resist.

"I told you I was all yours." His smooth baritone voice echoed in my ear as he licked the sensitive flesh on the back of my neck. Champagne long forgotten, I turned in his embrace and began frantically removing his tux.

His fingers found the zipper of my gown and he pulled the annoying cloth from my shoulders with ease. Releasing my breasts from their constraints, his mouth didn't hesitate to pay them homage.

I moaned in satisfaction and allowed my fingers to become tangled in his hair, pushing him closer into my bosom.

Finally, I was being rewarded for my patience.

He eased his way down my body and forced my back against the cool glass of the tinted limonene window. My dress was bunched and pulled over my hips as he disappeared underneath. I gasped in pleasure when his tongue came into contact with my eager pussy. I felt my clit jump with each lick and suckle of my talented youkai lover's mouth.

"Oh Kami, Sesshoumaru! Don't stop!" I yelled, not giving a damn whether or not the driver could hear us.

...

The plane ride was an annoyingly long one, but the idea of seclusion with my lover was enough to quell my irritation. The thought of doing something that could potentially get us banned from the commercial airline was also enough to make me giddy with excitement.

Too bad he was too absorbed in that damned cell phone to take notice of my arousal and not so subtle hints.

UGH! Here we go again with that little piece of shit! "Sesshoumaru." I said calmly.

"Hn?" Came his usual monosyllabic response.

"Once we exit this plane, I don't want to even catch a glimpse of your mistress."

I noticed the confusion in his eyes as he looked up at me. I gave the disrespectful device a hard glare so he could catch my drift.

"Yes, Kagome." He said tucking his phone away in his pants pocket furthest away from me.

...

The first few days of our lover's holiday was utter bliss. We took long walks, had pillow fights that led to passionate love making, and best of all… limited distractions.

It was on day three that I caught him in the act. He had been in the restroom, shower running in an effort to trick her into believing he was bathing while he sat on the lid of the toilet grumbling into his mobile device.

"I know the Hokkaido project is vital to the longevity of our relationship with the Nimbus Group, but those terms are ridiculous! Have the lawyers take a look at the contract, don't sign ANYTHING until I've had a chance to go over it." He spoke in hushed tones into the receiver.

It wasn't until he hung up that he noticed his wife, semi akimbo leaning against the door frame of the elaborate hotel restroom.

"Ka-ka- Kagome! I was just-"

"I don't want to hear it." I said as I walked over to him. Once I was standing over him I held my hand out for the phone.

He handed it to me without a fight, and it took every fiber of my being not to chuck it inside the shower.

I placed the phone on the sink's ledge and demanded him to take off his clothes as I began to disrobe.

"If you want your phone to survive this trip, I advise you to do exactly as I say." I told him in a chilling voice.

"Stand up." He obliged and I watched as his naked body rose to his full height.

"Give me your belt." I demanded.

He silently obeyed, and before he could pull his hands away I took his hands and secured them tightly with the leather material.

"Step in the shower." I commanded again.

He followed my command and once we were both inside the small space I dropped to my knees and began sucking his dick. I felt him attempt to sink his clawed fingers inside of my inky tresses and before he could relish in the feel of my mouth I stopped him saying,

"Don't. Touch!"

He growled in response, but otherwise did as I said. Taking his erect member back in my mouth I allowed his dick to touch the back of my throat and swallowed. I felt his knees buckle which only served to cause my ego to swell.

I licked the slit of his dick then allowed my tongue to circle the head before licking and tracing the veins of his stiff rod from base to tip. Placing his yogurt slinger back in my mouth I sucked giving him long hard strokes with my tongue. I used one of my hands to fondle his balls and the other to stroke the rest of the long dick that couldn't fit into my mouth.

His breathing hitched and I could feel his orgasm approach and before he could climax I stopped.

He growled in frustration and instead of acknowledging him, I forced him to his knees by charging my hands with ki.

"On your knees dog!" I spoke aggressively. I placed one foot on the ledge of the tub and pushed his head into my pussy.

"Eat up. And if you're a good boy, maybe I'll forgive you."

Once the words fell from my lips I felt my soul leave its body as he attacked my delicate pearl hungrily.

I pushed him further into my folds and felt his tongue enter my wet depths. At this point I could care less if he drowned. The sensations and accompanied by my anger prevented me from concerning myself with his lack of comfort.

The warm water only served to rise the ever growing temperature in the room. Sweat began to form on my brow as I felt my orgasm approach.

"Fuck-Shit-Damn!" Were the string of curse words that fell from my lips as my pussy walls clenched around his tongue.

As I came down from my high I tossed him a rag and told him, "Clean yourself up" as I stepped out of the tub.

"My hands, Kagome?"

"You'll figure it out." I said as I left him to fend for himself.

I could hear him chuckle as I closed the door behind me.

…

The rest of the day was uneventful. We ate, we drank, we talked and we laughed. It wasn't long before we were making our way back to our luxurious suite.

"You owe me from this morning." He whispered seductively in my ear as I fiddled with the door.

"Do I? I was simply exacting my revenge. I'd say we're even." I said with indifference.

"Oh no my little miko." You have a 'big' problem that needs to be resolved before this night is over."

"Is that right? How big of a big problem are we talking about?" I asked with feigned curiosity.

"A really… really big one." He said like a 4th grader while forcing my hand to make contact with his cock.

"Well let's see if we can do something to… fix that problem."

He dragged me into the room and forced me beneath him on the bed and began ripping my clothes off with much haste. He tossed his cell phone on the night stand and removed his own clothes.

I lay there on the bed with excitement shining in my eyes as I watched him trip over his pants in his eagerness to be rid of his clothes.

"Don't fall Sesshy." I said teasingly.

He growled in rebuttal as he made his way over to me.

"Prepare yourself onna." Was all he said before in one swift motion he was sheathed to the hilt in my moist cunt.

His pace was fast and unrelenting and I loved every minute of it. The feel of his dick invading my most sacred treasure had me wanton. The walls of my pussy seemed to drag him back in with each thrust and pull of his hips.

"That's it Sessh! I'm almost there! Oh Kami!" I screamed "Please don't stop!" That's when I heard the annoying buzzing of that stupid, fucking, infuriating cell phone.

I noticed the hesitation in his thrusts as his eyes glanced in the direction of the phone.

You have got to be fucking kidding me!

"Ignore it!" I moaned out frustratingly. The vibrating of the phone ceased momentarily before it picked up again.

Still flexing his hips, I felt him lean over to grab the phone. "No, Sesshoumaru!" I whined.

"Taisho." He spoke into the phone as he removed his dick from my dripping folds.

I couldn't believe it. He actually answered the phone while fucking me! I was pissed! I had given that damned phone one too many chances! It was time to die! Without hesitation I quickly plucked the small piece of technology from his grasp as I squeezed it with all my might. Charging my hands with ki, I sent current after current into the little fucker.

Once I was satisfied I had fried all the circuits, I chucked it into the wall and watched as the object of my disdain fell harmlessly to the floor.

Sesshoumaru sat there on the bed with his mouth hanging open in utter disbelief.

I took three deep breaths before yelling to the top of my lungs, "LET'S SEE YOU INTERRUPT SEX, SEND EMAIL ALERTS AND TEMPT HIM TO SNEAK BUSINESS CALLS NOW!? You ruined my honeymoon you little fuck!"

In my rage I walked over to the defenseless phone and kicked it for good measure.

"Kagome, calm down. It's just a phone." Sesshoumaru called.

"It's my fault. I'm sorry. I should have turned it off. Forgive me."

My rage began to dissipate as I looked into his golden eyes.

"Make it up to me?" I asked.

He nodded and made his way over to me. He had a lot of making up to do, and very little time left to do it.

…

 ** _A/N: There it is…. Hope you laughed… hope you got a little hot and bothered too._**


	2. This is how honeymoon's should be

_This is how honeymoons should be..._

 **Short lil smut piece... cuz I'm a hentai... sigh... smh.**

I was hot. My entire body was drenched in sweat and dampened sheets clung to my naked backside; yet I couldn't be more satisfied or appreciative of my current predicament.

I was in sensation overload as my mind blocked out everything except for the large inu flexing his hips between my thighs.

"Ungh. Sess-" Was my unintelligible groan when I felt his dick reach the sensitive spot deep inside my pussy. I pushed my head into the mattress in an effort to position my head so I could watch the expressions on his face. His eyes were closed in concentration as he rolled his hips purposefully against my own. Upon a particularly deep thrust his pubic mound made contact with my clit.

I couldn't hold the sharp intake of breath that his movements elicited which caused his eyes to make contact with mine. Holding his gaze, I moved my hips in time with his own making sure to rub my clit against his pelvis.

His slow pace was romantic, but I found myself becoming impatient with him and the slow building orgasm.

"Please Sesshou." I begged while wiggling beneath him. He entwined his fingers in my own before leaning down to place a sweet kiss upon my lips.

"Let it build Kagome." Came the ragged whisper into my ear.

I could feel my moisture soiling the sheets as his massive cock pulled backward and forward into my molten depths. I felt fullness that made my heart swell each time his manhood reached my innermost parts. "Slow and steady wins the race." He whispered seductively as his thrusts built in slow intensity. My eyes rolled behind my head as my climax coiled tighter and tighter in my belly threating to spring forth.

"Look at me. I want to watch you cum Kagome." He demanded never once losing tempo. I allowed my eyes to meet his own and the intensity of his smoldering gaze was enough to send me over the edge.

"I'm cumming, Sesshoumaru!" The spring finally burst and orgasm washed over me. My toes curled and my body spasmed in completion. It was slow... it was sweet... and it was incredibly intense.

I felt my pussy walls flutter and clench his thickness as I watched red seep into the whites of his eyes. "I'm going to fuck you now." He growled.

Before I could register what was happening his hips surged forward and his dick began moving in and out of my still quivering cunt with reckless abandon. The sound of wet slapping flesh filled the chamber as he allowed himself to be taken over by his instincts.

"Oh Kami! I'm gonna cum again!" I screamed. Upon my declaration he moved his head so that he could take one of my nipples into his mouth. He began to suckle as if a new born pup and the sharp tingling sensation that shot through my breast accompanied by his wild thrusts that sent wave after wave of euphoria through my over sensitive nether regions was enough to send me tumbling over the edge of yet another peak of ecstasy.

"Oh! My-Fuck me!" I screamed. As if my expletives encouraged him, he flipped me over onto all fours and began to piston inside my hot sheath like an overheated steam engine.

His repetitive motions seemed to go on for eternity. I felt his body stiffen as he neared his end "Cum inside me." I said naughtily and before the last syllable left my lips his hot seed spurted forth and coated my insides, washing my essence with his own.

He collapsed to his side bringing me with him. After catching his breath, he began, "Have I made it up to you yet?"

"Hn." I grunted mimicking him. "I'll let you know after I take a nap."

He chuckled to himself as he pulled me closer to his chest and nuzzled my shoulder. "I love you, woman."

"I love you too… man."

 **A/N: Let me know what you think! I felt like adding a more to this…. I really enjoy writing these little humor smut fics. Lol If you haven't read Killing the Laptop, be sure to check it out. It was fun writing that one too.**


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